My Thoughts On

 Humans have always struck me as funny creatures.  I remember seeing this person standing in front of the elevators at my office. I can't recall now if this was a male or female of our species. What I do remember is they scratched a high point on their belly causing their shirt to go way up exposing a bunch of skin. I thought it was so funny at the time. It was like my own private fart joke. Farts are funny.  I've also been the belly person. Once I was talking to my friend Colynn and she said "Hello, Alice's Belly." I had been absentmindedly scratching myself and had started going to town like I was alone on my couch with a can of cheap beer right there in her cubicle. In my defense, I had gained a LOT of weight and my clothes were probably too tight and therefore itchy.  It's taken me years, decades, to get comfortable being human. Sometimes I scratch an itch. Sometimes I fart. Sometimes blood and tissue comes out of my vagina. Humans are just animals that at...

I had a float today at a new place for me- ThinkOne The Behavior Design Specialists . My friend Faith gave me a Groupon for my birthday back in September. It was one of those things where I kept meaning to schedule it and kept putting it off. Then earlier this week she sent me an email reminder that the Groupon was going to expire. Whoopsie! (I've been watching a lot of Screen Rant Pitch Meetings lately. If you haven't seen them, give them a try. I think they're funny.)  There were a couple of reasons for my procrastination. One, this place seems a little out there. Check out ThinkOne's Website and form your own opinion. Two, there's this Covid thing going around and being in a pod breathing humid air for an hour kinda seemed like risky behavior.  But the risk of losing the whole thing to the expiration date made me finally take action despite my hesitations. Let's go back all the way to the beginning for a moment. I had my first float in 2017. It was a birthd...

  I'm 38 years old and yesterday was my first time giving blood.  I was drawn to the idea for several reasons. My company offers paid time off for volunteer work and I recently discovered that giving blood qualifies. I gave blood at Vitalant , formally Bonfils, and they will check my blood for Covid antibodies and let me know the results which I'm very curious about. And I did it on a day where I was meeting my friend, Faith, and knocking off early and spending more time with her was a big part of the appeal. I signed in and took a seat and was told someone would be with me shortly, and they were. A young lady called my name just a few seconds after I settled my butt cheeks it seemed. Something about the way her voice projected from behind her mask made it a little difficult to actually tell who called me at first, but then we made eye contact.  We spent some time in a small triage type room like you would find in an urgent care facility. She asked some questions, includi...

I’m scared to die. I’m scared to leave you alone in the world.  No, it’s not that I don’t trust you. I’m afraid of how the story will end. Yes, I know the story never ends. I mourn all the things I never told you, the things that were once in my brain and now gone forever, dust on the earth. It seems a shame that all these words and thoughts and ideas in my brain will die with me. It seems a shame that no one will know me like I’ve known me. I admire old people who accept or even welcome death. Maybe that’s the trick. You have to live so long that everyone is taken care of, everything has worked out the way it’s going to continue to, everyone you love is comfortably in their life grooves- ruts- and will continue to pace there, back and forth, and you are ready for death, bored with life. I wish my grandmother had met my second child and my second husband. I will die. Everyone who knows me will die. Everyone who remembers me and everyone who remembers someone who remembers me will d...