being special

I'm not special. You're not special. None of us are special.

How does that make you feel? When I first heard that I wasn't special I was angry and annoyed. How could anyone say that I'm not special? They certainly don't know this, this, and that about me. I'm special! I'm not Jesus special, but I'm special! 

If I were to analyze that reaction, I'd say that was my ego or small self rebelling against the truth. The fact is there are almost 8 billion people on the planet and I am only one. One in eight billion. I am not special. No one will remember me when I'm gone, not for long anyway. 

Think of a member of your family that died a hundred years ago. How much do you know about them? I'm guessing not much. And you can't be certain the facts you do know about them are really true. A hundred years isn't all that long when you think about how long planet earth has been around. A hundred years to erase a person's memory from the planet. And for most of us it will be a lot sooner that we're forgotten.

The good news is you're not special! We are all in the same boat whether we admit it or not. We will all be forgotten. The things we do in this life matter very little. We are of little consequence. Isn't that freeing? 

I've struggled with this thought that I should be special my whole life. I blame my grandmother for being so awesome. I say that somewhat in jest but she was an amazing woman. I always expected to grow up and be amazing and famous too. When I did become an adult and met people who were perfectly content to be "normal," to raise a family, to just live their life, I was confused. What do you mean just live your life? You don't want to change the world? Maybe they weren't ambitious enough. Maybe they weren't special, like me. Or maybe they understood life a little better than me. 

"Instead, do what life calls for in each moment, and do so without any gaining idea, any thought that you will ever see or enjoy the results of your actions. Do it because your life calls for it — nothing more."
Ken McLeod

If we live our ordinary lives moment by moment, doing the next thing, we can experience a deep satisfaction. We can pretend that it's beneficial to the world. We really have no way to know for sure. But it's a peaceful and fulfilling life. It's enough to just live life. Your life, my life, is okay. Live life simply because it calls for you to live it, nothing more. 



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