loving everyone

Loving everyone is easy until you get to know them.

I have this fun game when we go on bike rides to attempt eye contact with everyone I pass and send them love. 

Send them love sounds so mystical. 

I think to myself something like "I love you" and smile at them. That's the action. I also notice something I like about them. I like your helmet. I like your shirt. I like your smile. I wish them well. I hope they're happy. I send them good vibes.

It's easy and fun to do and it makes me feel good. 

It's easy because I know nothing about them. It's easy because we haven't spoken. They haven't told me that they are hoping Trump runs for office again, or that they're glad Roe v Wade was overturned. I don't know they disowned their daughter when she came out, or locked their car doors when a man with dark skin walked past. Even smaller differences like the fact that they root for the Raiders or they don't like Star Wars can cause me to place them in the "other" category.

Once you get to know a person you start having all these thoughts and ideas about them. And do you want to know a little secret? Your thoughts and ideas have nothing to do with the actual person! You've made up things in your mind about a person that may have nothing to do with reality. At the very least you've placed this person in a category or put labels on them that don't encompass who they are, who they can be, in every situation. And you do it to yourself too. That's the way our human brains work. 

The good news is you can be aware of it. You can notice when you've put a label on someone (or yourself). You can just notice it. Maybe next you can start to question it. 

"Hmm I notice I just thought of myself as messy."

"Is that really true?"

"I just thought 'that guy is a jerk'"

"Is that true?"

What if I could treat everyone I know, every new person I meet, even myself (who I've "known" my whole life), just like those strangers on the bike path? What if I started with the assumption that I know nothing about them/myself in every interaction? Every interaction would be new and fresh and just what it is.